Manusia Kardus

Namamu Ada Di Mana-Mana

2012-01-07T00:19:00.001+07:00

Aku tidak sedang jatuh hati
Hanya saja
Namamu dimana-mana
Mengambang di genangan air
Melayang di angkasa hijau
Berpendar di papan reklame
Di siang hari jalang

Aku tidak sedang jatuh hati
Hanya saja
Namamu dimana-mana
Tertiup bagai kertas
Meliuk kesana kemari
Dinyanyikan burung dan bintang malam

Lalu hinggap
Dalam, di sini
Menerobos baju, kulit
Merasuk jauh di dalam

Lalu bersemayam
Lama, Entah sampai kapan
Entah sampai kapan
Entahlah...

Beautika

2011-12-21T19:09:00.002+07:00

cantik itu aneka rupa dan raga
hari ini, entah darimana
mewujud seorang nona
mungil nan besar matanya
biru tas ransel
lutut licin kemerahan
heran, itu yang teringat
betapa api
membara dalam jiwanya
ah, betapa nikmat
dibakar olehnya

Saatnya Mencoba Peruntungan Baru

2011-12-21T19:02:00.004+07:00

di dunia baru
yang lepas kendali
mencelat ke atas
meledak berkejap-kejap
memburai seserpihan
beserak beterbangan
kelap-kelip
pelan mendarat
menjejak tanah
lalu lelap, senyap

Belantara Para Ayah dalam Pengasingan Pelatihan

2011-11-23T21:43:00.001+07:00

Duduk
Diam
Dengar
Larut aku
Lamunan senja

Duduk
Diam
Dengar
Hirau aku
Sayup senandungmu

Duduk
Diam
Dengar
Langut aku
Lelap si buyung
Di hangat dadamu

Duduk
Diam
Dengar
Dipangkumu aku
Ciumi jenjang lehermu

Wot JingoJango is About

2011-11-18T13:51:00.001+07:00

Whoever reading this, please remind me that:

JingoJango is about the coming back of a guitar god and more importantly, of returning souls. Nothing more.

See you on stage!

Truly Asal Goblek

2011-11-11T00:24:00.001+07:00

siapapun yang pernah berjalan dalam gelap, akan menghargai terang lebih dari yang lain.

seperti prajuritnya yang pulang perang, ksatria lelah terduduk diam.

betapa satu nyawa begitu berharga, pun seribu satu yang baru saja ia habisi.

demikian cerita, betapapun murah, begitu bermakna, ketika ia adalah satu-satunya yang bisa kau rasa.

cerita ini mungkin saja berakhir pendek, cepat, tragis.

pun ada peluang ia terus berpanjang-panjang, menuliskan dirinya sendiri. hingga tak satupun pembaca tersisa.

apapun akhirnya, ia sudah dimulai.

sejak 30an tahun lalu lebih tepatnya.

Vicomte de Valmont

2011-11-03T22:21:00.000+07:00

For he believed in his own lie
One that was said once too many
Broke one, two, hundreds, even thousands

It's beyond our control we said
I'm afraid the truth is,
We're afraid things will go
Beyond ours

We've traveled far
Trying break away from it
Yet we can't afford to live without

And I'm not talking bout love

It's Monday Everyday

2011-11-01T00:04:00.002+07:00

At first you thought it was because you lost control yesterday, so guilt carried itself to today. Then you added with the fact that you ran out of deodorant, so you stank all day all the way. Then you multiplied it with being working for one of the biggest and most admired companies in Indonesia. Hey, the last bit is supposed to be a positive one. But why do I feel the opposite?

What's the percentage of undergraduates and graduates run in flocks to the city of mega corporations. City of homogeneous culture. City of fancy clothes, fancy restaurants, trending gadgets, stock investments, facebook and e-store browsing and the camaraderie? Ah, don't forget to mention the hierarchy, line of command, play safe, follow the rules, act wisely, self-promotion, 8-hour computer staring, and many more! Wow, doncha juz luhv itzzz!!!!

Forgive me for being so negative. It's gotta be the Monday-thingy. It's gotta be the silenced regret thingy. Nah, it's gotta be me. Me feeling not where I belong. Me still hasn't found the spot. Me begin to think unnecessarily of the shiny light from the future bulb. Me doing the vicious circle again.

I'm blessed to have come this far. I am grateful until a certain point. I feel there are parts of me still wanting to get out. Not accepting doing thing that will add nothing to anything (yes, it is very much subjective). I feel... hey, is feeling the only compass I have when it comes to life choice?

I am not as strong nor as intelligent as Taleb. I do make hasty decisions, suffer from it, yet somehow still alive.

I might make another bold, daring, equally silly (by many people standard, don't know how many precisely) move. I might suffer than ever before, but somehow I'll be just fine.

Expect!

Round Trip to Your Heart

2011-10-26T20:41:00.001+07:00

People are meant to come and go in our life. Some stay for a while. Only very few stick around. Forever perhaps, but not like totally forever. They do come and go.

Today I met a girl with wandering dreams. The one who once were sitting at the back putting her arms around my round belly, one who put her shoulders for me during those tired days. She was a jewel, kinda spoilt but comforting nonetheless.

A princess of 21 can only have big dreams, goals in her eyes. Big companies, career track that is faithful to her study and all those innocent ones. Will she pick each of it one by one? I wish she will.

There was a moment of silence while we were cruising the long road to the airport, showered with that orange dim light. It was scene taken from a movie. We were all thinking, if not dreaming. Of future. Of the past. Many have happened for me. Many are waiting for her. And we just don't have any clue what tomorrow may serve us with. We were together, yet the notion of being alone was there.

Loneliness isn't that bad after all. It gives you time. To think, to take whatever action we feel compelled to take. The more you listen to your true self, the more you understand that sometimes being alone is the price you just have to pay. It is called Delayed Gratification. That, until another encounter happens. With whoever you cannot run away from.

Should you meet one, consider yourself blessed. Should not, just be content. There are things we must learn to master before life plays game on you again. :)

Why We Hate Airports II

2011-10-12T20:06:00.001+07:00

I guess I've found the answer: Nobody's actually there.

While bodies are tired siting, waiting, their minds are flying everywhere, next to their lover's body, among the kids, tomorrow's meeting room, petty cubicles, in a hot tub, on their bed, on somebody's wife's body, anywhere but the bloody cuntsuckin airport's waiting lounge!

So here I am. Wandering. Guess, everybody's just wanna go home.

30 September 2011

2011-10-01T11:23:00.000+07:00

Me, Tarzan got so angry > Me, Tarzan went crazy > Me, Tarzan went about for a company > Or Two > Me, Tarzan started puffy puffy > Puuufffffsss > Me, Tarzan took a gulp > A Slimy Greeny Birthday Gulp > Me, Tarzan broke all spare none > Me, Tarzan did purposefully > Me, Tarzan got home > Me, Tarzan woke up > Me, Tarzan: Wot hev I done? > Me, Tarzan: O, f**k it!

So the sun rises again like before, gives warm to the cold and tired concrete jungle.

Day #17 The benefit of Ciggies, Alcs and Chicas

2011-09-22T22:54:00.000+07:00

Now I understand why God created tobacco, fermentation process and hot bod bimbos. We DO need something to which we can vent our emotion (read: anger). I cannot think of anything more effective than those three.

Do you know wot they said when they did autopsy on Marthin Luther King Jr's body? They found a thirty-nine year old body with heart of a sixty-year old. That my friend, is when you keep everything inside, while looking calm, cool and collected. There's always price to pay.

Today, I put anger in my breast pocket. It burned inside, caught my heart, put it on fire. It really felt like heart attack. I wished I could smoke, drink heavy stuff and finish the day off with slamming a chica, H-A-R-D!

I ended up chewing gum. Quite sad. Seriously.

Let's Just Put It This Way

2011-09-16T00:37:00.000+07:00

After 6 years of prostituting myself to lord of meagre jobs and self-destruction, I come to realization: Where have all the money gone?

Damp holes, burnin pockets, suckin' vampires, pitless bottles, whatever you name it. It's gone now, brotha.

Everytime I moon over this, can't help but getting mad at my foolishness, the inability to restrain, to hold back, to act crazy, to play big time, to... Err...

The next natural response is thinking how to return all the loss, since we, human being, hate losing so much, way much more than our love for winning.

I have to warn you, in most gambling-related situation, this part is the one that draws most gamblers downward, drop dead bottom of hole of debt. Just beware!

If you wanna get up, better pick yourself up, start again, this time without all the excess baggage, I'm talkin bout the bad habits.

Cut yourself from em. Yes, you can! Speaking of can of soda, it's my 12th day of abstinence month. Have to tell you, it does feel like winning.

Day 7

2011-09-13T00:38:00.001+07:00

Hey, I'm still on it. No ciggies, alcs, chicas. I'm still alive, feeling better day by day. Toughest test will start tomorrow when I'll be going to the field for 4 days, with two friendly chain-smoking fellas. Out there with those guys, now we're talking some serious test. If I pass this one, one month'll be kiddie stuff. Just need to make sure I'll have enough Wrigley's throughout the trip. Ciao!

One-Month Abstinence: Alcs, Ciggies, Chicas

2011-09-05T21:04:00.000+07:00

Why: Have you ever gotten so drunk, that you couldn't remember much wot you did the night before? When glimpses of wot happened were coming slowly, you despised yourself. You said too much, you went berserk on every single creature wearing skirt, you lost your cool, you made fool of yourself!
I hate it when it happens. I loathe it!

Other why is because I feel unable to control my urges, desires. I've lost control over myself. It is very doubtful one can go far in life when he cannot tell his body and mind where to go. I finally got it after being here for over 31 years, soon 32.

Like normal human being, I wanna go as far as I can. Somehow I dawned to me, to go far, I'd better learn to control myself, my body, my desire, my needs, my thoughts.

Three biggest challenges, that capture all of the above would be: alcs, ciggies and chicas, as each has their own story. I am not talking about permanently quitting these stuff, but only for a month. If I can, I'd say I have mastered myself. Telling them what to do and make my body obeying my command. That's all. It's a good practice, kinda like fasting, only you decide what to control. The fewer knows about this the better.

So, here's wot happened throughout the month:

Day 1: I met gorgeous fine lady, very young one, goin 21. Her birthday is 3 days after mine. Funny how she said she's looking for future husband, not just a boyfriend. Quite wise for her age. Attraction is there. Need to find out more of both parties. Haven't told the funny part: what she said didn't scare me. Maybe we met at the right time. I was thinking of moving forward, and there she was. Too early to say anything. I could only say let's give it a shot. See wot will happen. Ah, I told her about the one-month abstinence. :D

Day 2: Decided not coming to the office, simply being lazy bastard. Met a Returning Music Magic - let's call him Eno. Told Eno about the abstinence project. Quite supportive. He said, even if you only manage to accomplish one out of three (remember it's: alcs, ciggies, chicas) I can still be proud. Think so too, but will try to complete all of them, at least until 5 October. Kinda wonderin wot wud guys at the office say...

Day 3: Paid a visit to Topan, the photographer turned to resto owner. Bloody bloke, he offered me a bottle of Smirnoff Espresso (wotever the taste is). Sat on a bench, enjoying the nasi balap and dreamy conversation nearly for 3 hours. Have to admit, I did take a glance at his ciggies more than once. Kinda cool while in the middle of sentence, you stop just to suck it deep and then pufffss... But hey, I won this day! Today I also shared the one-month project to few friends. Common response was "why?" I told em that the purpose is to regain the control over your body, rather than vice versa. Not sure whether they bought it, but they understood. Maybe sometimes they kinda feel the same, who knows?

Day 4: After lunch, hot weather outside, waiting for friends to finish theirs, it's another tempting moment to pick one and lit it up. It really is. Manage to fend it off. Another glorious day for me, Yay! Next topic, the Flyin' Lady. Met her cool nephew of 16. Friendly guy, tat's wot I can tell. Met her mom as well. Things seem running well so far. Enjoying my time with her, we had laughs, she had headache, I had companion, a beautiful one. So.. let's move things slowly, nicely, elegantly, with a touch of jocundity (of course one may ask, wot the hell dos tat word mean?). Last, about a girl who's haunted me for some time. Wot can you say, she's never given enough response. Guess, she's just not that into me. Ciao mama! Never realized throwing someone out of your head can be this easy.

I Seek Nomo

2011-09-03T23:48:00.000+07:00

She's busy
Always been busy
Makin' me dizzy

Here I am pretending to be busy and fuzzy.

When will we call it a day?

On Trying & Tribulation

2011-09-03T23:31:00.002+07:00

there's time for everything
to reap; to sow
to work yer ass off; take some time off
to see from afar
tat small castle you've erected

and maybe
there's also time to not trying
to not look good
to not carefully pick the right words
to not sweep em of their feet
even when they might

just maybe
things wud take care of themselves
mending wots broken
growing like wild shrubs

then perhaps
we wud come to each other
freely, carelessly, lazily
weaving our fingers, bodies
and souls.

Clandestine, Clementine, Wotevah!

2011-07-03T01:43:00.001+07:00

Apalagi yang bisa dibicarakan selain cerita demi cerita pop yang kuserakkan entah ke mana. Di tiang, di atas meja, di bibir gelas, di dalam botol bir hijau.

Semata-mata tentang seorang yang berteriak dalam diamnya. Dia menyolekmu terus-menerus. Menolak berhenti. Ceritanya banyak. Dalam kepalamu. Dia melepehmu agar pergi menjauh. Dia merengkuhmu ketat. Tak biarkan pergi.

Dia menyimpan banyak. Kisah. Cerita. Cerpen. Novel. Epik. Melayang-layang di atas kepala yang tertunduk. Diam. Menatap layar blackberry. Aku benci benda terkutuk itu. Menyedot pikiran cemerlang yang hanya mampir sekejap di pagi hari.

Dia ada di sekitarmu. Selalu. Lalu pergi. Kemudian kembali. Selalu berdiam diri. Apabila tertawa, percayalah, dia tengah mengejekmu. Dia tak pernah tertarik. Tak sedikitpun.

Dia membiarkan sejentik dirinya terbang. Entah kemana. Kini serpihan itu terhilang. Takkan kembali. Dia menanti. Aku menanti. Kapan ia sadar, aku menggenggam butir demi butir apa yang ia cari. Tidak persis sama, tak ada yang serupa. Mungkin ia tergoda. Lalu mau. Ah, tak akan pernah.

Dia diam. Selalu diam. Dia tak membuka. Pun tak menutup. Aku menatap bintang. Yang tak pernah ada.

Kita hidup dalam selokan. Dan aku masih menatap kosongnya langit.

Head Down

2011-07-03T01:10:00.000+07:00

Something will remain mystery
Just like why Chacha prefers hiding behind the bed

Sure We Can and It Does Make You Feel Better Coz It Puts Up A Big Smile On Ya Face

2011-05-13T01:12:00.000+07:00

Bisa ajaaa...
Bisa ajaaa...
Bisa ajaaa...
Bisa ajaaa...
Bisa ajaaa...
Bisa ajaaa...

While I'm High

2011-03-31T20:37:00.001+07:00

A: guk guk
C: guk guk aung augn

Such a lovely conversation, isn't it?

Muda Mudi Madu Mada

2011-03-15T23:33:00.001+07:00

bau keringat segar
senyum yang betebar
meloncat, hinggap, melompat, memanjat
betapa senyum itu lebar
tawa terburai
sekejap di sini
melesat
ada di sana
kembali berpeluh
terbang riang
tubuh tersentak
menghentak
menjejak tanah
gairah bersemangat
sungguh aku cinta
semua yang muda
hijau dalam tunas
mendesak mengintip
terbelalak terpesona
tanpa sadar
sungguh bunda bumilah
yang bangga nian
akan masa depan
dalam diri sang muda

Stay Low

2011-02-22T07:58:00.000+07:00

Tetap rendah ati-kepala dingin-kaga use tonjolin diri, apelagi bodi-tapi-pastiin ente lg ngelakuin sesuatu yg gede!

Kata Deng Xiapong Katanye

Happy Today

2011-02-18T14:48:00.000+07:00

smile is everywhere today
hides the troubled ones away
what's on everyone's head?
who's waiting back home?
what's waiting on bed?
while it's here
do sip it
bit by bit
till...
all is gone away

Natal Kuning Merah

2010-12-17T19:56:00.002+07:00

Dibalik pintu kaca
Kuning menyala
Merah berpendar
Wiuwiuw suara berserak
Lebih baik diluar saja
Didalam aku merana
Melihat dia yang luar biasa
Dalam diamnya

hallelujah

2010-12-07T22:44:00.000+07:00

i wonder if anybody has found
that secret chords that david played to the Lord
i wonder if my being obsessive compulsive
such loss of control
such affection and relationship
obstruction distraction
will call it a day
themselves

hallelujah!

sooner or later, everyone will put away the box covering their heads
open the secret red door
hidden deep underground
just like gambir, the sculptor

hallelujah!

Sunday's Sermon: Men vs Machines

2010-12-05T13:33:00.000+07:00

“As machines get better, people ought to be able to earn a living from their hearts and brains. Because the alternative to that is as the machines get better, the people who aren’t needed will become peasants, will be forgotten, and will become lost.”

Jaron Lenier

kotak yang mengkotak

2010-12-04T19:01:00.000+07:00

bertahun lalu aku
membuka kotak berbunga
pandora namanya
ia terlepas bebas
aku tersedot kedalam
teperosok terjebak
mengkotak

bertahun lalu aku
mematikan tanya
mencipta jawab
yang kukarang sendiri
alangkah bodohnya
kini ia mencengkeram
mengikat mengekang

kini kembali kutanya

bila seandainya saja
pandora tak pernah ada

bila seandainya saja
aku tak lagi kotak

bila seandainya saja
diri tumbuh penuh

bila seandainya saja
karya tercipta tuntas

bila seandainya saja...

ah, mengeras lagi aku
mengkotak.

A N N O U N C E M E N T

2010-11-23T08:30:00.000+07:00

"i don't have time for drama,"

keluh om kardus sembari berkesah.

dibalik pintu ada semangat dibalik semangat ada salju nan kelabu

2010-11-23T08:27:00.000+07:00

teriak dan bernyanyi sekenceng dan selama yang ente mau. toh, sebentar ente diam, suara abis, kembali melamun lagi.

pekerjaan paling gampang di dunia: pemberi nasehat bijak nan baik
pekerjaan paling teruk sedunia: ngejalanin nasehat yang keluar dari mulut ente sendiri.

aku suka drama. tapi lebih cinta tragedi. aku hobi kisah kasih menderu yang berujung kematian. tidak ada yang dapat sesuai harapan. semua kalah. pun kalau menang, cuma sedikit saja. lebih mirip realita ketimbang 'bahagia selamanya'.

bukankah semua punya kisah masing-masing?

eh, gelap amat sih tulisannya.

iya nih, kenape sih lo?

tau yak... lagi bosen nonton sinetron kali. apalagi tokoh-tokohnya. kaya kentut.

mencoba baik ternyata ga gampang. apalagi bajingan mencoba baik. eh, sebenernya mencoba baik ato kelihatan baik ya?

seandainya ada 6 milyar orang di dunia ini (perhitungan terkini berapa sih?), itu sama dengan 6 milyar mulut yang berkoar-koir. apapun yang elo lakukan, pasti ada yang ngeluarin suara kentut.

jadi nasihat om, "nevermind the bollocks!"

eh, keluar nasehat lagi. ck......

Bikin Idup Lebih Idup

2010-08-12T21:29:00.000+07:00

Take risks
Break rules
Make mistakes
And don't forget to have fun!

Dogbert is Our Modern Prophet, Yay!

2010-08-04T15:00:00.002+07:00

Still on architecture, interior or perhaps more?

2010-07-15T09:54:00.001+07:00

"The home does not have to be planned out in detail, just put together by pieces its inhabitant love."

Josef Frank

Perempuan = indah?

2010-07-09T17:16:00.001+07:00

Lagipula indah itu seumpama dua perempuan. Perempuan yang satu memiliki penampilaan fisik yang cantik. Namun, setelah kenal lebih dekat, ternyata perempuan cantik tersebut memiliki sifat dan tabiat yang sangat buruk.

Ada juga perempuan kedua - yang dari penampilan luarnya terlihat sederhana - tetapi ternyata memiliki pemaknaan sangat luas tentang kehidupan, keseimbangan alam, hubungan positif antar manusia, serta nilai-nilai luhur yang berhubungan dengan kekekalan.

Maka, perempuan kedua ini dapat kita pandang sebagai keindahan - yang lebih dalam nilainya daripada sekedar kulit atau kosmetik.

Yu Sing, dari buku Mimpi Rumah Murah

"Lucu memang, bagaimana bidang yang satu mampu memberikan ilham untuk ranah lain yang lebih luas" pikir Om Kardus sembari manggut-manggut.

Go Go Easy Rider

2010-07-05T22:42:00.001+07:00

In such perfect evenin
Tat not even
A single cricket singin
A lil lady dared herself
To travel past the cold road
Under sparklin orange light
As heart beatin
Way faster than normal
Humming Lionel and Diana
With a guy who seems like
No one else before
Who's busy wonderin
Are they havin fun?

Written on 18 April 2010

Cosagottahev Faith

2010-06-27T11:50:00.002+07:00

"Arise, and go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole."

The Truth Himself, Luke 17: 19

It's a Promise

2010-06-26T01:42:00.003+07:00

When we tend to keep
And withhold in silence
Assumptions and silly ideas
Come out nowhere
Playing tricks on ourself
We then act foolishly
Just like I did
Like keeping you away
Holding back feeling
The tender one
Leaving you stranded
On a desert
In an island, alone
Forgive me dear
For you I say
And promise
To never put you on trial

Funny how age doesn't mean anything
When it comes to feeling
Like I'm having now

Mars Attack!

2010-06-24T22:51:00.002+07:00

Comin outta nowhere
Thrusting into ye
Deep
Blow itself inside
Rupturin the lil harmony
Ye've been collectin piece by piece
For no apparent reason
Unsettlin the always troubled mind
Bendin the long dreams
Erasin the picture
Of that
Ye're learnin to luv
Back to square one
Placed in the northest of north
Let's just hope tis will end soon
Cos if not
I'll be the one gone
Not ye

Karate Kid

2010-06-21T22:16:00.002+07:00

The movie sucks
A typical hollywood's let's make money with this kinda family movie
The ole crane kick is no longer there
It's tha guile's sommersault now
Which is bloody superfluous
But, hey!
There's at least a thing worth noted
Even a drunk kung fu master needs a hand
Everyone needs a help
From anyone around
Ain't tat something
Considering taken from a typical hollywood's let's make money with this kinda family movie

Beruang Kutub dan Panda Nababan

2010-06-12T20:49:00.002+07:00

Bermalas-malasan di tepi lempengan es, jemari bantetnya memainkan air yg hampir beku. Ah, betapa tenangnya tanpa apapun, tanpa siapapun, tanpa masalah! Sedikit sepi bukan perkara.

Beruang kutub bersiul, senandungkan lagu untuk diri sendiri. Tak ada yang dengar, paling hanya koloni pinguin dari kejauhan. Kadang mereka menertawakan,"hoy gendut, lagu baru dong."

Teringat ia akan mimpi aneh semalam. Membuatnya merenung seharian. Ada panda betina tersasar ke kutub utara. Mahluk aneh yang mencekam pikiran. Ingin ia enyahkan, namun malah makin melekat.

Mungkinkah ini pertanda agar ia pergi ke kutub yang paling kutub, ke utara yang paling utara? Menjauh dan kabur seperti biasa, menjaga tenangnya dunia disekeliling? Mahluk baru berarti perubahan. Perubahan sama dengan tantangan. Tantangan adalah masalah, dan masalah tidak sama dengan ketenangan.

Namun mimpi itu benar-benar memerangkap otak mungilnya. Betapa anehnya melihat diri sendiri, sang beruang kutub bergesekan hidung dengan panda betina. Aneh, namun betapa riang hatinya. Ingin kabur saja, tapi panda itu...

"Ini cuma mimpi, ini cuma mimpi," beruang kutub meyakinkan diri. Lihat dunia masih tenang seperti sedia kala. Tak ada panda, tak ada yang berubah.

"Boom!" Ledakan keras mengaggetkannya. Es tempatnya berpijak, bergoncang naik turun.

"Apa itu," pikirnya melihat asap tebal tak jauh dari tempatnya. Bergegas sang beruang malas mendekati lokasi asap misterius berasal.

Perlahan asap menipis, bagai ada yang menyibaknya, menunjukkan kawah putih besar. Mata beruang kutub membelalak, melihat mahluk aneh menggeliat.

Mahluk aneh yang sama dalam mimpinya. Seekor panda lucu melongo kesana-kemari. Sepasang mata belok berbulu mata lentik itu menatap sekeliling, lalu berhenti tepat pada beruang kutub yang melongo bodoh.

"Apelo liat-liat!"

... dan beruang kutub pun tidak jadi pindah ke utara yang paling utara...

Deadline Beware

2010-06-12T20:24:00.000+07:00

"In this world, when you put a deadline on it, you always end up losing out."

Joan Oliver, Barcelona corporate director general
on Fabregas transfer. Will he leave this time?

among other things

2010-05-16T19:02:00.001+07:00

among thousands of late promises
overdue jobs, videos
unfinished books, stories

i am now alone
on the 12th floor
perfectly content
somewhat happy

knowing that ain't we all
need the same thing over and over again
but think too much about the unnecessary

do we not need only little
but put too much effort in wot we'll never use

beer is only beer
it will never draw two people
closer by heart

wot we need is to have a go
and do all the silly things in life

dare yourself
as i will

let the wind take us
to wherever it may

for life is much too grand
to be lived just like them
who came before us

dari sisi mana monyoong

2010-05-08T18:44:00.000+07:00

Lo bapuk
Gw engga

Lo jelek
Gw ga jelek² amat

Lo mure
Gw engga

Gw ga terima
...
...
...
... tapi bir bersama masi bisalaa...

Gosh Whos Ole

2010-04-18T15:22:00.001+07:00

an ole man
is staring at the mirror
wot has he gained
compared to wot he has lost

another start is ahead
honestly speaking
he's dead afraid
like lil mouse
tremblin against that
fugly monstrous fatty cat

an ole man
not ole enough to be considered wise
is staring at the mirror
drowning himself in
of wot may become

yes
much easier
to be mere observer
having laughs once or twice
feeling the sorrow
of wot never yours
it's just way too easy

an ole man
has never been the bravest
has never been the proudest
nothing extraordinary
but all the things buried in his
confused n tricky mind

hey, ole man
get yourself ready
for bright star
do come very rarely
even with their own troubled spark
and dilemma

try grab it
if you're lucky
embrace it
never let go

should you fail
at least we've got a helluva story
enough to fill these silly pages
for years to come

until you become star of your own
for others to keep

"pfffftttttssss"

an ole man
is gettin himself ready
easy
steady

remember,
take it easy

but,
don't let it go
anymore...

Silly Pretty Thing

2010-04-08T23:08:00.000+07:00

she's got this uncanny skills
of making fun of ya
and also with ya

:-)

2010-04-08T14:15:00.000+07:00

Happy Birthday, Lil Miss Sunshine! ;-)

Its Easter, Esther

2010-04-04T13:46:00.002+07:00

o lil girl

whats inside

tat head of yours

o lil girl

no matter how wavy

tat hair of yours

its the eyes

tat cant hide the wonder

of wot tis world could offer

o lil girl

do go for a show

but please, take it slow

as you already

put me in awe

i dont think

i have any reason to worry

Zihuatanejo

2010-04-03T13:29:00.000+07:00

ANDY

"There are things in this world

not carved out of gray stone.

There's a small place inside of us

they can never lock away,

and that place is called hope."

RED

"Hope is a dangerous thing.

Drive a man insane.

It's got no place here.

Better get used to the idea."

ANDY

"Remember, Red.

Hope is a good thing,

maybe the best of things,

and no good thing ever dies."

stolen from The Shawshank Redemption

Nyanyi Dulu Tidur Kemudian

2010-04-03T00:42:00.001+07:00

bintang ketjil
di langit yang biru
amat banyak
menghias angkasa

...namun...

satu pelan meredup
lalu padam terangnya

mungkinkah dia ngambek
karena tak ada yang menoleh
sekuat-kuat ia menyala
sama saja dengan sejuta lainnya

mungkin ia lelah
entah berapa lama ia di atas sana
tergantung teramat tinggi
sendirian saja

mungkin juga ia marah
merasa ditipu oleh janji di awal
kau akan jadi spesial
begitu isi suratnya
nyatanya?

bintang ketjil
bilakah kau menyala lagi
mungkin kalau cuma
satu yang mati
tak terasa akibatnya

tapi pernahkah terpikir
pabila semua ikut merasa
lalu memutuskan sama

apa jadinya

bintang ketjil
tidak bahagia
ia tak peduli

huh, lebih baik aku mati saja

bintang ketjil
apa ya maumu

aku merasa sepi sekali

hmmm... cuma itu ternyata
tunggulah sejenak saja
saatnya akan tiba
bintang lain menghampiri
teramat derasnya
menghantam
meluruhmu

lalu bolehlah kalian padam bersama
maukah kau menunggu?

hmm... tapi jangan lama-lama ya

pelan, sinarnya berpendar lagi
tenggelam oleh nyala sejuta lainnya

ah sebenar benar nya

2010-04-03T00:22:00.000+07:00

yang paling keren:
yang paling beguna:
yang paling bemutu:
yang paling berkhasiat bak obat mujarab:

"if ya can make fun of yeself anytime, anywheah"

sabda Tuan Kardus, yang lagi hobi dipanggil Om

Pilehan

2010-03-26T20:50:00.001+07:00

Kalau hidup adalah pilihan
Kemana jalan yang kuambil ini
......

Bung Kardus, coba meng-Indonesia

Shy Baby Shy

2010-03-05T23:41:00.001+07:00

"shyness, condition that will haunt most of us, unless we can break away from it."

shambolic me, tattered Mr Kardus

Karya Bicara

2010-03-04T21:18:00.001+07:00

Aku ingin berkarya
Habis itu mati
Bukan lagi perkara

Wot dos it mean now

2010-02-02T23:15:00.000+07:00

"i'd rather help than watch.

i'd rather have a heart than a mind.

i'd rather expose too much than too little.

i'd rather say hello to strangers than to be afraid of them.

i would rather know all this about myself than have more money than i need.

i'd rather have something to love than a way to impress you."

stolen from po bronson's 'wot shud i do with my life'

Masa yg Teramat Cerah

2010-01-07T21:27:00.002+07:00

Pertanyaan yang menggelitik, mengorek-korek pantat setiap kami yang duduk di Jombre malam itu. Latar belakang kami mirip:

Keluar dari pekerjaan lumayan dan gaji cukup untuk bertahan hidup dari serangan tuntutan kota benderang.

Bertahan dalam mimpi yang samar. Jangan tanya apa cita-cita kami. Banyaknya seribu ditambah satu.

Anak, apalagi istri? pacar saja tiada. Bukannya tak bisa, semata-mata takut sakiti hati mahluk seberang, bernama perempuan. Jujur saja, kami lemah, teramat lemah dan sopan untuk urusan satu ini.

Pernah tercelup dan mencelupkan diri dalam sepinya rapat mahluk seberang bayaran.

Hidup mungkin tak lagi sekelam lima atau dua tahun lalu. Namun tetap saja gambaran esok sesamar layar tv hitam putih yang sudah selayaknya dimakamkan.

Dari sekian gejala, apakah ada alasan ataupun penjelasan yang tepat menggambarkan semua?

"Kami semata-mata berjiwa seniman."

Lain bukan.

wot's yer number

2009-11-09T01:38:00.000+07:00

for those who know me.. mine is 7.

LIFE PATH NUMBER 1
You are a leader and an initiator. The best in life comes to you when you accept roles of responsibility and authority. Strength and individuality are your trademarks; others have always seen it, and you wear it well when you choose to display it. Be confident, original and willing to stand alone if you have to.

You should not accept compromise in pursuing your direction in life, however, if this non-compromising attitude carries over to social interactions, you will alienate others through over-aggressiveness. You will be Number 1 at something in your life. Express yourself with pride, flair, and courage. These attributes will help give you confidence in yourself.

Your greatest obstacle is that of being too arrogant and self-centered, leaving no room in your life for anyone other than an appreciative audience.

LIFE PATH NUMBER 2
Relationships are the key to your life. You are not interested in living your life alone, only in sharing it with a partner. You make an excellent worker because of your willingness to accept guidance and your eagerness to please. You are quite willing to protect and sustain loved ones. You respond to the needs of the moment. You are resilient to the point of being able to pull through the worst of any crisis. You are willing to cooperate and share in a relationship, but you expect results and equality.

Your challenge is one of learning how to incorporate the opinions of others without giving up personal integrity. Express your feelings as they come up. You are moody and need to occasionally remind yourself to let go of the past and move on.

LIFE PATH NUMBER 3
You are the communicator, the optimist, and the proverbial student of life. Self-expression is your key to happiness. New projects excite and grab your attention. When you are excited, that energy easily spills over to those with whom you come in contact. Watch that you don't spread yourself too thin with all of your varied interests. You are versatile, easily excitable, and the person who always wants MORE from life. Because you are adaptable and generally fun to be with, you are often found among a group of friends. You are popular and defined as inspirational. Your versatility is a talent that should be utilized through your work.

Watch out for being a dilettante. Learn to put depth into your studies. Your test is one of finishing at least a portion of the projects you begin without stretching yourself to the breaking point. The phrase "too many irons in the fire," was probably inspired by the actions of a number 3. Your desire is to grow, expand, learn, teach, and to be more than you were in your past.

LIFE PATH NUMBER 4

A hard worker with a highly developed sense of responsibility, you are the solid individual whose work can benefit an entire community. Life doesn't seem to come easy for you, but this is a source of strength. What you have is what you have created for yourself. It could be said that you thrive on adversity, but wanting to work for what you get is closer to the truth. You will only accept that which you have earned, and you are not seeking a "free ride" in any area of your life. You are organized, hard-working, steady, and willing to follow the necessary routines to accomplish goals. You have an excellent ability to concentrate and the tenacity not to give up on a project until it is completed.

Your inner growth and development are more important to you than what you are doing with your outer, social life. Your life has been marked by struggle, but patience, devotion, and endurance will be the keynotes to your success. Avoid becoming stoic and rigid.

LIFE PATH NUMBER 5

You are bright, clever, alert, and the most versatile of the numbers. There is a rapid and continual turnover in the events of your life which has forced you to develop your keen sense of adaptability. You crave new experiences and bore easily with routines. You are a natural at any type of communication and could easily be found in a profession of writing, speaking, or sales. It is the breadth of experience which you have accumulated that makes you fascinating in the eyes of others. Watch leaving a trail of unfinished projects and incomplete relationships in your wake.

Your challenge is to tame your fickle nature and recognize and sustain that which is valuable in your life. Adding depth to your involvements and adventures can offer more fulfillment to your life.

LIFE PATH NUMBER 6

You know how to enjoy the good things in life, and are known for your cultured taste. You exhibit refinement and style in your speech, your dress, and in your home surroundings. Justice, balance, and harmony are the crucial elements of your expression. You have an excellent feel for colors and appreciation for both art and music. Strong family ties offer cohesiveness and meaning to your life. Quality time with a few select friends in your own home is a favorite pastime.

Your main challenge is that of learning the flexibility that true sharing requires. Once you accept situations and relationships exactly as they are, without trying to make any improvements, you become happier. Yes, you need to defend and protect that which you value, but you must periodically review your values to see if they are consistent with your life goals.

LIFE PATH NUMBER 7

You are eccentric, unusual, aloof, but amazingly friendly. Even as a child, you valued your privacy, a quality that remains with you throughout your life. You are a dreamer, idealistic, mystical and always a philosopher. No one really knows what is going on inside of you as you are not the type to share your secrets. Meditation and quiet time are essential if you are to understand the deeper mysteries of life and the internal questions that plague you. It is through these that you preserve your individuality as the key to happiness and fulfillment. There are many times when you will feel like a misfit in the world, which may be because you are searching for more meaning to life thatn others or simply rebel against being one of the ordinary.

Your challenge is one of developing warmth and emotional intimacy with your loved ones. You are unusually bright, intelligent, and perceptive. You are often misunderstood by those who claim to know you best. Freedom is your ticket to happiness.

LIFE PATH NUMBER 8

You are efficient, organized, and a hard worker. Serious and goal-minded, you can be depended upon to carry through with obligations. Your tendency is to take on more and more responsibility. Use your ability to delegate authority to keep from becoming over-burdened. Your excellent managerial skills and your drive for success and control will place you at the top of your chosen profession. You can become fascinated with your own power and will be attracted to others of great power. For maximum growth you must remain humble and thankful for the respect and trust that others place in you.

Your challenge is one of right use of power. Be aware of what you are willing to sacrifice to get to the top. Leadership and success are yours when you harness and temper your tremendous drive for achievement and recognition. It will be yours if you are patient and understanding of the real responsibility of being able to exert your will over others.

LIFE PATH NUMBER 9

You are the dreamer, the artist, the genius, and, at times, the martyr. Yours is a path of empathy for misunderstood. You have experienced much confusion in establishing a foundation for your life. It is the school of life that has offered you your greatest education. Your keen perception allows you to immediately see through phonies and pierce facades, as you are seeking contact with the real essence of life. Being the most complex of the numbers you are difficult to understand because of the depth of your sensitivity and awareness.

You are compassionate and extremely sensitive to your emotional environment which causes expreme shifts in your moods. Fulfillment comes from being needed, appreciated, and being involved in some sort of service. You have deep, intense, but often short-live involvements. You do your work...then move on. Yours is a life of extremes, and you are known for your sensitivity and caring.

LIFE PATH MASTER NUMBER 11

As the first of the Master Numbers, you are the Master Student, the idealist who is on a quest for meaning. A seeker of truth, you are willing to jump into any class, teaching, or walk of life that offers potential hope and insight. Others look to you for guidance and you are a nutural instructor. There are times when your enthusiasm borders on fanaticism and becomes tiring, but listening to your keen intuition can thwart problems in this area. The life you lead will be the ultimate teaching you impart to the world.

Number 11 also reduces to a number 2, and 11s must learn the lessons of cooperation before they can serve as a voice of inspiration for others. It is the special task of 11s to keep the dreams, visions, and hopes of others alive.

Also go to Life Path Number 2 to learn more...

LIFE PATH MASTER NUMBER 22

This is the number of the Master Teacher. Being knowledgeable in the ways of the world will create a responsibility to pass learned information onto others. The number 11 holds the vision, and the number 22 holds the practical key in applying this wisdom for the betterment of humanity. A concern for the welfare of mankind will lead to a teaching of universal concepts.

Your challenge is to maintain the strength of character needed to be the voice of discrimination and leadership. 22 reduces to a #4, and all of the lessons of perseverance must be learned before the qualities of leadership begin to surface in your life.

Also go to Life Path Number 4 to learn more...

We Re Not Bad, Just Weak Sumtimes...

2009-11-02T09:45:00.001+07:00

"It is not always because they are bad guys, it can be because they are sometimes weak guys. They go out and they don't know where to stop. They do not master their life."

Arsene Wenger on those talented, yet sometimes temperamental players. Aren't we all?

Let's Make Colours

2009-09-30T22:08:00.001+07:00

a day without her
is like walking in the park
blinfolded

hear laughters around
but i cannot see
i cannot feel

a longing
that becomes frustration
desperation

a minute is all i need
just give me plain white

for colours
are for both of us to create

written on 10 September 09

Find Real Target!

2009-09-26T13:53:00.001+07:00

"Sol is a strong man and when he has his mind on something he goes for it, but he needs a real target."

Arsene Wenger on Sol Campbell,

and somehow it kinda relates to myself.

Tanya - Jawab

2009-09-24T22:19:00.000+07:00

kala ku bertanya
BELIAU mendengar
tanamkan jawab dalam hati
mata pun kini melihat

terus berjalan
dan bernyanyi
la la la la la

aku akan tiba di sana
sendiri atau berdua
tak banyak bedanya

Bangun Tidur Buka Mata Basuh Wajah Lihat Terang

2009-09-24T12:54:00.000+07:00

yang terbaik pasti datang... hanya apabila kau percaya.

yang baik adalah yang menumbuhkan. menyegarkan. bagai air segar yang membasuh diri; membuang lapisan kulit lama yang bau dan kusam.

yang baik adalah yang membuatmu tangguh, kuat, lembut hari demi hari.

kau akan temukan itu.

PS: tarik nafas dalam-dalam, keluarkan yg mengganjal di dalam. simpan tenagamu. ada sejuta satu x sejuta satu hal seru nan baru menunggu di depan. :-D

Renungan Lepas Malam

2009-09-07T06:28:00.004+07:00

ada seribu satu alasan yang masuk akal untuk tidak meloncat, terjun dan mencoba; ada seribu satu alasan konyol untuk membiarkan diri, mencoba, jatuh, terluka, belajar dan bangkit, lalu tumbuh.

mana yang kita pilih?

ketidaktahuan adalah awal, namun ketakutan adalah penjara diri yang membelenggu setiap kita untuk bertumbuh. dia memaksa kita diam dan membesar-besarkan luka yang mungkin terjadi.

pun seandainya kau putuskan mencoba, ingat bahwa laut adalah bertepi. seluas apapun samudra kau akan kembali ke titik semula. akan ada waktu bagi tiap kita untuk berlatih menahan diri dan memahami tak semua yang kita inginkan itu baik, apalagi benar.

membebaskan namun tidak menyesatkan, menahan diri namun bukan memenjarakan.

entah darimana ilham pagi ini timbul.
pagi terbit selepas malam, dan kau hadir semalam. kau membuatku naik ke atap, menatap langit. lagi.

jangan percaya aku bulat-bulat. aku cuma pemula, sama seperti semua yang lahir di semesta raya.

namun sungguh, yang kusampaikan semalam, benar adanya. kau yang pertama...

Somebody Somewhere

2009-09-06T00:05:00.001+07:00

Someone who takes you as you are, who sees you as a true pearl, the one of a kind, compares you with no one. Doesn't even think of anybody else.

Who sees tomorrow as a challenging journey, full of mysteries but also joy, to be shared always at all cost, all the time. Share and carry each other to the end of the path.

Who thinks the world is going cold, but refuse to follow, believing defending your beliefs is the real values, but need not to talk nor brag about it.

Who understand the sacredness of love and its derivatives. Ritual best understood as woeful mysteries, consumed passionately by one, no longer two, driven by eagerness and child-like curiosity.

Who will leave the door open for the kids and let them play in the mud, with the cows, under the rain. Let them dance, sleep, cry, and love everyone around. Growing the love inside of them, to let them see there's always good inside everyone.

Yet with all heart protect them from superficial nonsense. Teach them that there's more to live than things you buy and collect.

Who loves you fully as creation of wonderful purposes, not of accidental meaningless particle of mother nature. Who believes that 'why' is not useless, man-made question, but admits that sometimes the answer is way too big for our under-developed brains.

Who are you?

being a sentimental moralist i am

2009-08-26T07:08:00.003+07:00

sleeping with hot bod bimbo is not the issue, but deceiving yer other half is. mahaguru super assistant said in his letter, adultery only damages yeself, but deceiving and breaking hearts kill the owners.

they say 'my other half', wot does it mean? when ya deceive yer other half, ya stab yer other half with tat corroded fugly smelly knife of yers which could result in death. meaning? not only other person ya may have slain, but yerself - since tat person is yer other half. ya kill half of yerself.

shud it happen, wud ya consider yeself a human being, since theoretically ye wud only be half human. wot term wud fit? a zombie? a walking half dead man?

*to my dear friend who, despite having a luhvely wive and gorgeous baby daughter, still fucks around hot bod problematic bimbos.

you say tying the knot is matter of trust, commitment and sex. where's the trust and commitment when you carelessly DOwwit with those - again - hot bod problematic bees?

bahh, who am i to put a verdict on ya, i may end up more wicked than ya anyway. puff...puff..

Wot so special bout em

2009-08-04T08:53:00.003+07:00

as i'm growin older and taller - with three grey hair on top of my crop - girls are gettin too many - and most of em are just too damn horny - and bloody empty - so they bore me - so i'd rather go for sudoku...

Labradoodle! Why dog is truly our best fran

2009-08-02T13:10:00.000+07:00

a dog has no use of fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes
a waterlogged stick will do just fine
a dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb
give em your heart and he'll give you his
how many people can you say that about?
how many people can make you feel rare and pure and special?
how many people can make you feel extraordinary?

stolen from 'Marley & Me'

Nitey Nite...

2009-07-28T23:44:00.004+07:00

when i recall
the picture of
boundless beach
and pebble sand
i see cheeky acne
and smile so free
that it takes me
and it makes me
tempted to dance
in the drizzle
by the night
with you..

Wot's Your Idea of Perfect Day?

2009-07-26T18:35:00.001+07:00

"When you have a bad day but you don't complain about it. You realize things don't have to go with your plan. The day when you take all the bad luck as good luck. Everything depends on us!"

My, my, wot a true beauty Angelina Sondakh is. Taken from her interview with Jakarta Post's Weekender, August 2009.

Ah, no wonder!

2009-07-25T00:15:00.000+07:00

"At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet."

Plato

Read the book first, then the Cover

2009-07-23T22:53:00.007+07:00

a wise friend (who still prefers to be unknown all these years) said calmly while sipping his super-rich-dark-non-sugar-freshly-brewed-and-mixed-with-soy-and-rice coffee, "never judge a book by its cover."

so wot does it mean?
it means:

(1) never judge a person using your unproven mind-reading ability. you're not that good, brotha;

(2) when people do zany, nasty, silly things on your first, second, third, or fourth encounters that doesn't mean those are their habits. something could annoyingly tickle their nose when they do nose picking, and surely it isn't a hobby;

(3) their stories could mean those are what they're thinking at tat time but could also mean those are wot occupy their mind most of the time. wait long enough to understand;

(4) wot they're doing could mean they have little options to do other interesting things or could also mean tat's wot they like doing. don't forget that people change. again hang around for a while to get better picture of wot they want;

(5) clothes are simply clothes, to make us feel good bout ourselves, to hide our flab, fat, curvy curves in our bods, hopefully make us look more attractive in the eye of the beholder. nothing more, nothing less. hard to understand when people say that clothes say something about our inner self;

(6) when your new friend smiles or looks at you coyly, hold on a sec, don't be too proud of yeself. okay, he or she could have a little, say again very little, interest in you, but then again he or she could be thinking of someone else when they do tat. the same thing with the opposite, when he or she is seemingly disinterested with you or your stories, he or she could be on something fishy. again you must be patient and willing to hang around to say "a-ha!".

(7) soo, the thing is never draw conclusion much too fast. as a matter of fact, i don't think we need to make any conclusion on relationship with other people. let it grow, evolve to where it should be. simple. easy. non-sticky.

(8) mmmm, i want to make it to 10, need to come up with more nonsense, damn.

(9) o'o... nothing so far. alert, alert, writer's block!

(10) i know, i know: people have lotsa stories bout themselves. just like a book, it takes time to finish it. even so, once you finish reading it, the sequel is already there, waiting to be read. it takes forever to know yourself, let alone other people. sooo, should you find a chapter in the book that doesn't suit you, keep reading.

wait long enough, then people will surprise you, said the wise man. Yay!

Most Likely True, Yay!

2009-07-23T12:17:00.003+07:00

"Those whose main purpose in life is happiness, most likely are the unhappiest."

stolen from "Merayakan Hidup yg Sulit".

a Rover I am

2009-07-22T14:56:00.002+07:00

i have been a rover
i have walked alone
hiked a hundred highways
never found a home

still in all i'm happy
the reason is, you see
once in a while along the way
love's been good to me

Why I Hate Airports

2009-07-20T19:00:00.003+07:00

it's just another leaving on a jet plane feeling,
and i feel like dying...

... Oh, f**k it!!

Dum da di di Dum

2009-07-20T12:44:00.000+07:00

vibrant soul soft cake
cream fillin' dreams
non fat choco layered

rainbow papers tossed up
confetti flies up

can't get beyond still

that
one pretty smile
those
two vague laughters
and
the silence in-between

is it locked
or perhaps
there's nothin' there

telepathy remains a mystery
when

crafted are words
carefully picked
but never used

keep lookin'
keep searchin'

then we'll find

the big fat mirror
to reveal
the whole picture
of you
and dreams

with soft cake
and non fat choco
and confetti
...as background only

Memento

2009-07-13T23:25:00.004+07:00

someone said no once
when heart was overflowing with yes
how man was silly animal
for he took the word and gone in shadow

what's the use of those pictures you keep
no mementos can return the presence

o great love story
without crowds to see
but actors to play victims

who gives the loudest applause
but the devil who smirks wickedly
proud of tainting
what once were beautiful hearts

Take It Easy

2009-07-12T22:48:00.000+07:00

people passing by
murmurs swirling by
footsteps knocking crackling
it's just the high heels
take it easy

friends come and go
few would stay, only longer
then too they'll go away
that's just the way it is
take it easy

man comes emptying bin
dream of tomorrow is luxury
the truth of time is unworthy
we're on sale
but hey, take it easy

my heart grows weary
here nothing feels easy
being company to somebody
who will soon take you as nobody

same as those passers by
it's just the high heels
that's just the way it is
yes, do take it easy

Ice for the Eyes

2009-07-11T11:04:00.002+07:00

dazed and confused
foggy screen in mind
wearin' weary smile
lickin' secret tears

where's the sea
in its glorious blue
walk closer to it
see the fallin' star

don't forget to say a pray
whether it'll happen or not
doesn't really matter
as long u fall asleep

leavin' all worries
hangin' in the closet

eaten away by moths
just like yesterday's story

eventually

You were there, Now we're here

2009-07-09T23:27:00.000+07:00

wot's the matter boy
ain't it time to shake the legs once mo'

just leave no scar
then things'll be all rite

get lucky we may
not rover's luck
we hope

Let's Walk

2009-07-06T09:57:00.001+07:00

saw gorgeous lady
hands full with blackberry
thumbs dancing wildly
here then there then everywhere

wot's on the screen
people ya fancy
or mere reflection of ya

wot r ya smillin about
what's on yer mind

ya know,
silence grows curiousity
and like ya said
stray cats waitin to eat ya

take a walk in the park
shud ya ever need company
there r elephant, tiger, alligator, cat and dog

don't go with elephant
vengeful, might go berserk and trample ya

tiger?
once they get hungry
never know wot'll happen to ya

alligator
pffts, ya know this better than me

and cat
once they r full, next they r gone

trust the dog
for it may be ugly
but it surely is friendly

give sum care and lovin
it'll stick to ya like anythin
and fight for ya like really sumthin

walk in the park, hmm
we shud do more o tat

Pick One, Move On

2009-07-05T06:20:00.000+07:00

"If you don't take decisions you would never do anything because you would spend all your time choosing between things you could do."

Stolen from Mark Haddon's

Risk Management

2009-03-31T08:23:00.001+07:00

"Every course of action carries risk, any attempt to eliminate all risk can lead to inaction and failure."

Rand Study Group, 2005

Happy 9 March!

2009-03-09T15:01:00.000+07:00

Today was supposed to be the day. Two kids were fooled by ego. It was all lesson only life could give. To grow another love hopefully, or to give chance to what has never died.

To you who know what it means, have a glass of happiness with a pinch of joy, wherever you are.

Truth about You & Me

2008-12-12T18:47:00.001+07:00

"Most workers are not terribly talented and most of them don't need to be, as most jobs don't require it."

An old truth taken from The World in 2009, The Economist

Two for One

2008-10-19T22:48:00.001+07:00

I guess we have more than a life. Should I consider myself lucky, living with two? One is what you see, the other is what you can't afford to see.

One day we all have to choose, which to hold and ditch the rest. Guess, it's easier that way.

Arsene Wenger: A Tribute to the Legend

2008-09-27T15:35:00.002+07:00

It's not every day you hear of legends, though the term "great" is being used as frequently as we use the word "sorry."

It's not every day you see a man who maintains the passion and dignity and commands the same amount of respect the way he used to more than a decade back.

It's not commonplace to see a no-nonsense economics graduate transforming "business" knowledge into a profitable venture, at the same time not letting go of club values and football traditions (Mr. Platini, hope you got the drift).

Arsene Wenger belongs to that exclusive club of elite people who fall into all the above mentioned statements and much more also.

In today's scenario, even coaches like Hughes and Mourinho will be referred to as great, irrespective of what they have actually brought into the club or to football as such.

It is not an easy task to spot the talent of young fledglings or rather young saplings, nurture them with love and care, provide them with the warmth, and give them the energy to fight any storms and make them really strong trees.

I tend to be a little poetic, but yes, we can proudly say that the young guns of the present are the saplings that Wenger planted years ago or the ones he knew would flourish in the gardens of the Gunners.

On Sept. 28, "The Professor" completes 12 glorious years at Arsenal. He has, in every sense, turned out to be the best thing to have happened to us since the day the club was born.

The great man that he is has stuck to his principles of promoting youth and allowing them to flourish in spite of all the brickbats that has been thrown at him. With the influx of huge amounts of money in English football today, it is not that easy to stick unwaveringly to one club and also not letting go of his stand and his morals.

Wenger belongs to the league of legends like Ferguson (though I hate him), Maldini, and their likes.

How many coaches today can proudly look back and say, "I made these boys become men"?

How many coaches can look back and become reminiscent about fielding a very young team and beating the giants of Milan at the San Siro comprehensively?

How many coaches actually have the guts to rely purely on the confidence, the talents, and the exuberance of youngsters to demolish an established side like the way we took apart Sheffield United last week?

How many coaches can attribute themselves to spotting and nourishing talents like Fabregas, Henry, Wilshire, etc.?

And there's not a single coach in this world today who can lay claim to having set the way of redefining the term "total football" which is more beautiful than the grace and panache of a Russian ballerina.

In today's footballing scenario, it takes a lot to get the love of your players, and Wenger has that aplenty.

The greatest example is that scene when Fabregas ran towards "father" Wenger after scoring that stunner in Milan. Another one was when Kolo Toure ran to shake his hand and got a pat on his shoulder after equalizing at Chelsea moments after he came on in one of his first matches at Arsenal.

Wenger's undying faith in Adams reaped rich rewards and who can forget the famous "back four" who claim to still swear by Wenger. Or more recently, Vela giving that smile and a wink to the professor on completing his hat-trick.

Trophies may not have graced the cupboards at the Emirates, but they will come sooner or later. When they do, the whole world will stand, take a bow, and applaud the man who commands respect; the legend according to me, Sir Arsene Wenger, the man who will go down in history as the one who changed the face of football.

God bless Wenger!

Stolen from: Sabarish S.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/61679-arsene-wenger-a-tribute-to-the-legend

What's wrong?

2008-09-27T15:08:00.002+07:00

"Some are wrong because they are not strong enough to fight temptation and some are wrong because they do not know."

Arsene Wenger on... diet

In Pursuit of Happiness

2008-09-26T16:40:00.002+07:00

"It's not where you are, but who you are with that matters."

some stuwpid dork

Has my Indonesia really sunk this low?

2008-09-21T12:46:00.001+07:00

Stolen from JakPost, 21 September 2008:

First, rest assured that I'm perfectly aware that Indonesia is far from eradicating poverty. I've lived outside Java and traveled much into the countryside to know that Jakarta's gleaming lights give a misleading portrait of Indonesia as a whole. But I used to think that the term "dirt poor" could only be applied to certain pockets in far-flung provinces. Until this past week.

I was breaking fast with grilled chicken and veggies when the TV news put out a news flash that literally stopped me from polishing off my meal.

The news reported on a group of trash collectors who frequent Jakarta's garbage dumps, fish through hotel leftovers to select the still-edible pieces, then sell them to some profiteering devils. They then tidy up the scraps, dowse them with seasoning before recooking them and resell these disguised castoffs to local wet markets as affordable ready-too-eat fresh dishes. The scary footage walked the viewers through the whole recycling process.

I apologize if I've ruined your Sunday brunch, especially if you're having it in one of the posh hotels. It's a known fact among insiders that high-end hotels, in their perennial striving to maintain high quality standards, do not keep leftovers or uncooked foodstuffs for long.

A good friend who was once a senior chef in a Jakarta 5-star hotel told me tales of perfectly edible, often untouched meals -- usually from weddings or functions whose hosts had ordered extra food "just to be safe" -- which ended up in the disposal bins. He also recounted how low-paid kitchen staffers lost their jobs when they gave into temptation and snuck some of these glorious dishes out in their knapsacks.

If you're wondering about the recycled meals, they definitely found buyers. Low-income housewives who've been suffering from skyrocketing prices for months saw them as the chance to finally bring long-lost chicken and beef back to their family's dining table.

Meat must've been so scarce for so long that these hardship-beaten people didn't get suspicious of how high-quality cooked meat could turn up so cheaply in their neighborhood market.

O readers, has my Indonesia gone that hungry?

The second news item that stunned me -- while Wall Street crashed, sending shockwaves across the world early this week -- reported how 21 people died in East Java in a stampede while trying to collect Rp 30,000 in alms. Yes, okay, Rp 30,000 (about US$3.2) could mean a simple meal for a family of three outside Jakarta, but it really doesn't amount to much.

It's what an urban white-collar worker might spend on one lunch break, or what a middle-class mom will use to get her kids ice cream any weekend at the mall, or simply parking costs a highly mobile professional might pay on a typical day. To think that old women in Pasuruan walked from their villages and stood for hours, only to be trampled upon and eventually crushed to death, for a meager Rp 30,000, was simply eerie.

O readers, has my Indonesia gone that poor?

These stories occurred around Jakarta and in East Java, not in some faraway province known to have missed the development train.

The recent global economic downturn has hit most of us, from U.S. financial behemoths to giant multinational airliners to local businesses. I left the corporate world 18 months ago to pursue an entrepreneurial path, only to see my new business barely floating above the tide of cash-crunched customers, and my modest capital market portfolio, supposedly my future life savings, losing a good 25 percent of its value.

I've skipped weekend parties, cut back on travel, and long forgotten the feminine pleasure of a fabulous pair of designer shoes. All of these frugalities at the end of the day hold no candle to the suffering of people who can only afford refashioned garbage or who are willing to gamble their very life for an extra Rp 30,000.

I don't have a magic solution, but let me offer my two cents.

First, for philanthropists out there who genuinely want to help the poor; select charities you trust and let them distribute your alms. If you're afraid charity caretakers may siphon off your dough, quietly visit any poor neighborhood's Ketua RT (head of smallest neighborhood unit) who maintains a list of poor households. At some point, you'll eventually need to entrust that well-intended money to someone else. Better to extend it to the deserving through effective channels rather than as Saykhon Fikri insisted on disbursing his charity directly to the throng of 2,000 in his front yard.

The second one is a plea to fancy hotels. Your food is well made and arguably more nutritious than what an average poor kitchen might muster. I trust there are other methods for maintaining your standards without sending off perfectly edible food to garbage bins, only to find its way to hungry unsuspecting stomachs. Why not send the food off directly to hundreds of orphanages or nursing homes, which may receive donations during Ramadhan but for the most part struggle to survive for the rest of the year?

It may not get you peer approval, garner media attention or win your company a CSR award but, if there's any Islamic teachings on sincere giving I do remember, when your right hand doles out charitably, even your own left hand doesn't need to know.

O readers, I'm afraid my Indonesia has really gone dirt poor.

What a sad Eid it will be this year.

Lynda Ibrahim

Om dIN

2008-09-18T17:26:00.003+07:00

You'll be seeing this guy all over the world!

Pride You Fool

2008-08-04T23:06:00.002+07:00

Can't you see boy
Who said I can, by me and only me
Who shook head and said no
Who embraced pain and keep it inside

Can't you feel boy
It's on us, by ourselves and only ourselves

Foolish pride is for fools
Can't you give room to breathe
And say aloud: forgive

Forgive and forget, yes?
Forgive the past and forget the culprit, or
Forget the past and forgive the bandit?

It's been nice meeting you,
Good nite and good bye.

Bengung

2008-06-22T09:56:00.001+07:00

Tanya bintang
Bulan dengar
Matahari jawab
Bila?
Dan bumi,
Sungguh senyap
Kau di sini

Grow yeself

2008-06-17T12:54:00.001+07:00

To grow old is mandatory
To grow up is optional
To laugh at yourself is therapeutic

from someone who smiles

Song: Go and Catch a Falling Star

2008-06-15T17:29:00.001+07:00

Go and catch a falling star,
Get with child a mandrake root,
Tell me where all past years are,
Or who cleft the devil's foot,
Teach me to hear mermaids singing,
Or to keep off envy's stinging,
And find
What wind
Serves to advance an honest mind,

If thou be'st born to strange sights,
Things invisible to see,
Ride ten thousand days and nights,
Till age snow white hairs on thee,
Thou, when thou return'st, wilt tell me,
All strange wonders that befell thee,
And swear,
No where
Lives a woman true, and fair.

If thou find'st one, let me know,
Such a pilgrimage were sweet;
Yet do not, I would not go,
Though at next door we might meet;
Though she were true, when you met her,
And last, till you write your letter,
Yet she
Will be
False, ere I come, to two, or three

Guilt revisited

2008-06-08T19:43:00.001+07:00

Weekend, it's been a challenge for some time. It's when I must put effort to think what to do to fill in the blanks. When up to noon can't think of what to do, dangerous ideas often come to surface. Dark cloud re-appears. Idleness kills!

It nearly happened today. Somehow guilt stopped me from doing such foolish things. Past talked to me. I thought I'd had erased all her sms, guess I missed some. One of the text struck dead right into my chest. How someone gave the heart totally to another being.

We know how the story ends. Wicked wrongdoings betrayed the heart and put deep wounds to both hearts.

All is said and done. To turn back the clock is wishful thinking. Everyone needs time to heal. Oh wounds, pray that they will all go away. No one can go far, when you're nurturing the wounds.

Heart is what controls each of us. When it's dying, not much control is guiding you. When it's bitter or sour, guess where it'll take you.

Forgive and be free is what the champions say. That's supposed to work. Next, dare yourself to start again. Yes, it may happen again. But, don't problems make you stronger? We are stronger and wiser than yesterday. Are we? :-)

The Only One-sentence Manual You'll Ever Need

2008-06-07T17:35:00.001+07:00

"Use your own best judgment at all times."

Tom Peters, Thriving on Chaos: Handbook for a Management Revolution

To Love or be loved!

2008-06-06T23:07:00.001+07:00

Ancient wisdom says "It's better to spend the rest of your life with someone who loves you than with someone you love."*

Unconditional love is of the highest and purest kind. Yet some say it's the foolish one. A wife of past movie hero waited years for years for her husband to return home. He did, after 15 years. How long can we stand against the suffering of unreturned love?

Would you be happy to live with a lifetime nanny? With someone who will always be there, one who takes you as you are and accept your humane flaws. Ah, speaking about peace of mind, peace at home, and probably peace in bed. The question is how long you can stand against the loveless heart of yours. You'll lose the sparks of life for quite some time, until it eventually grows inside... or - the worst case scenario - until you can't hold on any longer and stop trying.

Have a closer look at both scenarios. Do you not agree that they're all the same. It's just a matter of from which side you look at it. Giver or taker. The ideal is both parties share the same feeling. Sadly, since Kazoonga era til now, not too many loves survive the trial. Many turned sour, thanks to betrayal, lies, stupid lustful desire, and thousand other reasons.

We then opt for either to love or be loved. A wise friend of mine says it's part of growing up. Now that explains why people regret childhood dreams of becoming adults. The truth is, it doesn't matter which way you choose. Remember this: Hope helps. Water drips put holes onto the arrogant rocks. Love triumphs, no matter on which side you are. It just needs patience and endurance. After that, you won't leave with empty hands.

For all of you out there, have fun in trying and experimenting. Hope it works!

*Thanks to Maria for the ancient wisdom.

Walk the Talk

2008-06-03T21:56:00.001+07:00

"If HE is the most important thing in life, which should I take?"

Ask that everytime you come across a crossroad.

Heaven is Holy Village, not City

2008-05-28T22:36:00.001+07:00

Today I witnessed how money isn't always above all else.

A colleague was asking to a lady, owner of a small kiosk in front of a school, how much is a bag of soy and other vegetables lying on the bench.

"Oh, I just picked them under the scorching heat. Actually it isn't for sale, but you can have some. May this bring pahala (good deed) to me."

Remember Jesus story about the poor widow who gave all she had. The lady I met today certainly wasn't rich. Husband has been in Malaysia as migrant worker for the past 5 years. The area is pretty tough, lack of water, no electricity. Rp 5,000 would make a difference, at least for a day. But she did teach something today.

Something that's getting harder to find.

Things are pretty clear, actually

2008-05-27T20:11:00.001+07:00

Be patient, said someone of fame and fortune. Keep believing and patiently waiting, you will find and get the best.

Life is full of miracles, sometimes under the guise of tragedies and sorrows. I've wondered too much. I've thought more than I should have. And they lead me to dead end.

Isn't it time to let loose and let everything pour down on me? Walk one step by the time and see where it leads me. What's the point of living all the plans without surprises?

We'll go far and reach the star. One that shines so bright unlike any other stars. Keep believing and waiting patiently.

Ain't life wonderful?

History

2008-05-25T12:07:00.001+07:00

It's a fact that no longer exists.